MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Today is Christmas and Husband and I are spending the morning just hanging out in front of the wood stove in our apartment, reading newspapers (online) and listening to the Gordon Ramsey Christmas special on BBC radio 2. It’s a nice way to spend Christmas morning, even if we don’t have a Christmas tree to enjoy. We thought about getting one, but I dislike this crappy apartment so much I just couldn’t get excited about bringing a tree in and decorating it. Not having a tree allows me to keep thinking of this apartment as temporary, which is the only bearable way to think about it, in my opinion. Hopefully we’ll be in our house next year and we’ll have a lovely tree then. Something to look forward to. We’re also looking forward to the Christmas party we’ll attend this afternoon, to which we were invited by a very nice couple we met at my school’s party last week. They’re from Canada and have many international friends here in Sandefjord, so I think there may even be English spoken at this party! Merry Christmas to me indeed!

It’s pretty quiet outside, as most people are probably doing what we’re doing---enjoying a cold morning in the warmth of their houses. Most Norwegians celebrate Christmas on December 24, when they traditionally attend Church, gather for family dinners and open gifts in the evening. Oh, and I believe it may also be traditional to visit the graves of your loved ones, as H and I noticed during a walk we took yesterday afternoon. The cemetery near our house was jam-packed, as was the cemetery where H’s Aunt Elfrida and Uncle Hjalmar are buried.



I don’t know if putting out flowers and candles in cemeteries is a Christmas Eve tradition in America. It wasn’t for my family, but, then again, we were fortunate to have escaped personal tragedy and we lived 3000 miles away from our extended family, so weren’t near enough to any graves upon which to pay tribute. I don’t think it’s a tradition in England, either, as most Christmas Eves I’ve enjoyed in England have been spent at the pub getting completely pissed up with loads of other British people. That is a practice that seems vaguely heathen even to me, a staunch atheist, but, hey, who am I to criticize the customs of others?

Saying howdy to those who have passed on before us, presenting them with flowers, wreaths, and candles, and generally honoring their memory on Christmas Eve seems a gentle and peaceful way to prepare for the feasting, drinking, and gifting that comes later. By nightfall, the cemetery behind our apartment was eerily alight and it stayed that way until early this morning. It was a beautiful sight first thing on Christmas Day.

I can't believe Christmas is almost here! Sandefjord town center has been decorated for weeks and everything looks so sweet, with lights strung along the streets and the big tree all lit up in the town square. And the weather has almost been cooperating... We don't have snow but it's been freezing all week and there's a good layer of frost on the ground. Not great for walking but it looks pretty and really helps with the Christmas spirit.

I'm not quite ready for Christmas to actually be here. I feel like I haven't had enough time to enjoy the atmosphere and the "Jule" festivities going on around town. But I am ready for our two-week winter break from school, which starts tomorrow. Well, okay, it actually starts on Friday but the scuttlebut is that no one is showing up tomorrow, including me. I think it will be okay. I like school and I especially enjoy all of the great people I go to school with, but the class and all of the homework is a grind and I'm knackered. The teachers have been so great to us these past few weeks, working really hard to give us a Norwegian Christmas experience. They taught us songs---there's been a lot of singing!---and they put on a Santa Lucia Day procession which was so beautiful. We had a "Bake Kveld" (a baking night) where we learned how to bake seven different kinds of Norwegian Christmas cookies; that was very fun, and so delicious, too! They also arranged a day of kraft work, where everyone got to make different norsk jule decorations. My group made little "julenisser," or Santa Clauses, and I think we did a great job.

These were made by my friends Sylwia and Beata. I'm so impressed. Look at the expert job they made of the gift sacks!

The one on the left there is mine. So cute, yes?

Tonight Breili School put on a Julefest (Christmas party) for all of the students and their families and it was fabulous. There was singing---Norwegians apparently love to sing---around the Christmas tree, tons of food, and a lot of trying to speak norsk to each other. Good times, for sure. But me and my brain are tired, so I will say, "God natt."

My language class made it into the local newspaper! As part of our culture course, last week we went for a tour of a few important local government offices in the city. We went to the police station, the tax office, and the social insurance (welfare) office, and in each place we met staff and were treated to tours and brief information lectures. A reporter from the Sandefjord Blad showed up while we were at the police station listening to the station chief talk about laws, regulations, and the city police department. Well, okay, I think that’s what he was talking about. The lectures were all entirely in Norwegian and I understood only about every 20th word. The copper was kind of hot, though, so sitting and looking at him wasn’t such a chore. We also got a look inside the jail there, which, I must say, is much, much nicer than San Francisco’s jail. (One day I’ll tell you all about how I know that…)

I did catch the part about police in Norway not carrying guns in the course of their normal duties. If a situation calls for a weapon, they do fetch them, but normally they're seriously unarmed. Oh, except for their parking ticket books, I'm sure. (I'm still bitter.)

I’m glad the reporter caught us at the copshop instead of the social welfare office. How would THAT look to the good citizens of Sandefjord, to see the immigrants learning the ins and outs of the country’s welfare system? Much better that we’re seen learning about Norwegian rules, yes?

I got a parking ticket yesterday. I left the car in a row of cars for 15 minutes on a main street near the town center and when I came back, there it was, tucked neatly under one of my windshield wipers. A yellow and white piece of paper wrapped in plastic to protect it from the rain. WTF??? I had pulled into a spot vacated by another car right next to a sign indicating safe parking from 8:00am to 4:oopm. What did I do wrong? Whatever it was, it was going to cost me 500 kroner. At the current pathetic exchange rate, that’s $83.00. Man, I was so pissed off. I started cursing as I got into the car and didn’t stop until I got home. I even barked at Downstairs Guy when I bumped into him on our porch. After I cooled down, I apologized to him for acting like a bitch and explained why I was so angry. He translated the fine print on my ticket, reporting that I apparently did not park the requisite five meters from the edge of the cross-street near my parking spot.

I didn’t even know this was a rule. So now I know. Why do I have to find out everything by making mistakes? This is pretty much my pattern for life (hence my blog address…) but it’s so magnified here in Norway because there are so many things I don’t know. I constantly feel like I’m flying by the seat of my pants and only figure stuff out after doing something wrong. And, in Norway, it seems like every mistake costs a pile of money.

Downstairs Guy was eager to commiserate, as he was still raw about a ticket he got a couple of days ago in Oslo for driving in a bus-only lane. Guess how much that violation costs? 4600 kroner. $750. Can you believe that? DG is still raving mad about it and was only too happy to give his opinion about the Norwegian nanny state with all of its rules and procedures and bullshit. Wow. I have to admit, it was really refreshing to hear an actual Norwegian saying that stuff. It made me feel less isolated and less-ungrateful-immigrant. I like Downstairs Guy.

Anyway, I was still mad today and my feelings about the parking ticket ballooned into a serious negative funk about everything Norwegian---the weather, the expense, the language (especially the language), on and on and on. By the time I left school to walk home---that’s right, walking!---I was in an ugly mood. I had to stop at the pet store, though, to get some food for the cats and, as I was checking out, I tried to tell the cashier that I thought one of my cats has a toothache because he's not eating his kibble. The cashier was nice and started to chat with me but, of course, I couldn’t understand him. He held up his hand, walked away from me and came back with a bag of kibble. It was a special blend for cats with sensitive teeth. I asked how much it cost and he said it was a gift, so I could try it and see if the cat liked it. No way! Isn’t that the nicest thing! I thanked him over and over again and left feeling like a million bucks. Aren’t Norwegians nice? Isn’t Norway great? I may just be going a little crazy. Anyway, the cat loves the food, so I’ll be going back to buy a big bag. I doubt that cashier knows how much his little kindness helped me today, but, at the very least, he earned a customer for life.

I STILL MISS YOU, BUDDY

It was one year ago today that our beloved Rufus died at our house in San Francisco. Rufus was 12 years old, which is a good old age for a Doberman, and we think he had a pretty happy life with us. We adopted him from Doberman Rescue when he was three, and for nine years Rufus was a HUGE part of our lives. He was just such a great dog. Not without his problems, of course, but who doesn’t have problems? His problems, like anyone’s, just made him more unique and more special. He enriched our lives in many ways, particularly because, through him, Ian and I met so many wonderful people at Dolores Park, the unofficial “Dog Park” of the Mission District. Paul, Krandall, and Ron (with Gracie and Rama), Adam (with the magnificent Emma!), Sharon and Keith (with little Willow), Molly (with Hudson), Mary (with Rudy)---the best group of people (and dogs!) one could hope to know. Oh, and I can’t forget Al, the most awesome petsitter in all of San Francisco. Such good people, and we know them all because of Rufus.

Last December Rufus just got too tired to go on living and so Ian and I had to make that decision that every pet person dreads. Luckily we knew a veterinarian who came out to the house to help us, and Rufus died peacefully at home in our arms. It was a terribly sad thing. I was gutted for a long time afterwards and still can’t really think of the boy without shedding a tear.

So, Rufus, this post is for you, buddy. I still miss you and I still think of you. You were a great dog.

PRINCESS NORWAY

So last night I watched a program on Norwegian television all about Norway’s Crown Princess, Mette-Marit, and I am completely smitten by the woman. OMG, how could I have known so little about her before yesterday? I mean, I knew there was a Norwegian Royal Family and I knew the son, the Crown Prince, had married a “commoner” several years ago and there was some sort of little scandal about her past but that was a far as my curiosity had taken me. Well, she’s fabulous! I think loads of people in Norway have suspected for years that Mette-Marit might be the “new” Princess Di and they just might be on to something!

MM and the Crown Prince, Haakon Magnus, both 33 years old now, met after being introduced by mutual friends at a big outdoor rock concert in southern Norway in 1999. They lived together for almost a year in Oslo before getting married in August 2001. Apparently their living together before marriage sparked major controversy in Norway, where many people---including some in the government---took it as a sign of disrespect for the state church and also of MM’s lack of morals rubbing off on the Prince. She had already been judged harshly in the public eye because she---gasp!---already had a kid and---bigger gasp!---the kid’s father had done time in prison for buying cocaine. I’m making a joke there but even I can see how those details might make more than a few people wonder just exactly who was this woman who would be the next Queen of Norway. Plus, there were rumors that it wasn’t just MM’s boyfriend who was doing coke, if you know what I mean…

In the period leading up to their wedding, Norway was full of malicious gossip and accusations and arguments about whether or not Mette-Marit was fit to be Crown Princess, let alone Queen, but this is where the story gets so romantic and awesome. Prince Haakon stood by his girlfriend, and even King Harold and Queen Sonia (who was herself a “commoner” when she met Prince Harold) voiced their support for their son’s bride. Don’t you love that? The TV program that I watched showed a clip of a press conference MM gave a few days before the wedding where she acknowledged her “wild past” and expressed regret for some of the choices she’d made. She was so upset and so vulnerable and so dignified all at the same time, that’s when I fell hard for her. And I guess so did the Norwegian people, because they’ve embraced her enthusiastically and seem to really like her. She’s one of the most famous women in Norway and is busy now with all kinds of official duties and speaking engagements all over the world. This past August she spoke at an AIDS conference in Toronto that was also attended by former President Clinton and Bill Gates.

Hey, here’s an interesting fact: Crown Prince Haakon attended U.C. Berkeley in the mid nineties! I wonder if he was ever at any of the music shows that I also saw? (He’s supposedly a big rock music fan.) Wouldn’t that be weird? I mean, jeez, if he was looking for a lively blond chick with a shady past…. Just kidding!

MOONLIGHT MORNING

This is a picture of the view outside my kitchen window when I left the house for school this morning at 8:15am. It's dark! It doesn't get light out much before 9:00am these days and it's dark again by 3:30pm. I don't mind it much although it is tough to get out of bed in the morning, even though my body clock knows it's time to wake up. A few people have warned me to take a little extra vitamin D to make up for the lost sunlight but I already take a good multivitamin and I think I'm good to go. I kind of like it, actually. It makes up for all of the sun I got during the 18-hour-long days of summer.

The school where I take my Norwegian language class has changed our Monday language class to a Monday “Culture Course (Kultur Kurs).” This is an opportunity for us immigrants to learn about the culture of Norway---its history, system of government, laws, values, traditions, norms regarding work, education, and family, and all kinds of other interesting aspects of the Norwegian life. It’s also a requirement for any of us who decide we want to stay in Norway and apply for a settlement permit.

The immigration process is fairly straightforward for most people coming to Norway. You must be an approved candidate for immigration (refugee, asylum seeker, family reunification, job, marriage to a Norwegian, etc.*) and you must apply for your residence permit either before entering the country or ASAP after you get here. If your permit is approved, you’re generally granted five years’ residence; after that time, you can apply for a more permanent settlement permit. As part of that application process, you must prove that you have had at least 250 hours of Norwegian language study and 50 hours of culture study. My school has offered the language classes for a long time but only last month started including the culture study in its curriculum. So now, every Monday, I learn about Norwegian culture.

It’s all been very interesting so far and I’ve already learned a lot, but there are certainly parts of the class that aren’t exactly geared toward folks like me who come from hip and modern San Francisco. We spend a lot of time talking about stuff that I take for granted, like how in Norway it’s illegal for your family to force you to marry someone against your will, and how men and women have full equality here, and that, when meeting people for the first time, it is normal to look them directly in the eyes and firmly shake their hands---that’s for men AND women. But I’ve got things to learn too, particularly about the political parties here (there are 23 of them!), about the royal family, how taxes and the health care system work, and how it’s not normal to hug people unless you know them really, really well. Oh, and ALWAYS take your shoes off when entering someone’s house. ALWAYS.

We had a fun discussion recently about political systems, and the teacher asked each student to say what kind of system exists in the country they came from. It ran the gamut from “dictatorship” to “democracy,” but some of the comments were very interesting. Like the woman from Russia who described that system simply as “corruption,” and a man from Iraq who said Iraqis had a “democracy,” and he did that thing with his fingers where you make quotation marks in the air. When it came to my turn, the teacher didn’t even ask me, she just said, “Oh, you’re from the U.S.A., you have a democracy.” And I said, “Um, well…” but she had already turned away.


* Husband and I were allowed to move here because his mother was Norwegian.

Where is the Snow?

I see in the U.S. news (and in Mike’s blog) that the American Midwest was hit with a major snowstorm last week and I’m ashamed to say that I feel a little jealous. Not because I want all the problems and inconvenience that come with a storm that big but because everyone there is going to have a White Christmas and I’m not! Well, okay, I might, but the way the weather has been going here in southern Norway, I think we’ll be having only a wet and windy Christmas. Temperatures in Sandefjord, and all over Norway, have been far above normal since the middle of November and it doesn’t look like anything’s going to change any time soon. The thermometer has been hovering at around 50F for the last few weeks, which is downright mild for this country in December. The national newspaper recently reported that, for one day last week, not one area in Norway was below freezing! Not even in the far north, above the Artic Circle! Tromsø, a city in northern Norway, has been enjoying temperatures in the mid-forties for a week, which is really unbelievable for this time of year.

Most Norwegians I know here have begun to grumble about the “warm” weather and have started asking, “When is the snow coming?” There is talk about global warming, the melting of glaciers and icecaps, floods in Oslo and Bergen, all kinds of doom and gloom. And it is true, of course, that, like many places in Europe, the weather has been gradually getting warmer in Norway over the last 20 years or so.



Here is a picture of an old ski jump that stands just a couple of kilometers from Sandefjord’s city center. It’s pretty decrepit and hasn’t been used for a long, long time because Sandefjord no longer gets the amount of snow necessary to actually use a ski jump. (Although, apparently last winter was unusually bad and folks probably could have used that jump if it was in good order.)


It’s strange to think Sandefjord was once so routinely covered in so much snow. Maybe it’s a good thing that my first winter here isn’t SO harsh, since I would no-doubt be miserable after a while, but I’m still holding out hope for some snow before Christmas. It is little colder today---it’s 45F right now---but the forecast is still only for rain throughout the week. I’ll let you know if it changes!